New York City cops have a problem. No, not the many PR issues and settlements ($121 million last year alone!) they’ve had to pay out over the years. Instead, this problem has to do with the fact that cops in the city are no longer allowed to use steroids.


Advertisement

Now, you might be thinking, “Hey, aren’t steroids illegal?” Well, you’d be right, but legality has never stopped the boys in blue from getting chemically swole.


While there’s no number we can attach to the amount of cops who use steroids, the tendency of cops to juice has been known for quite some time. Multiple studies have been done on the practice, and cops have even spoken to reporters about feeling the need to bulk up to get an edge on criminals (or, you know, just to get some sick gains).


But that muscle train seems to be reaching its final destination thanks to a New York City law — and the police aren’t too happy about it.



According to the New York Daily News, Police Commissioner Edward Caban and Mayor Eric Adams have implemented “a ‘zero tolerance’ policy on NYPD officers using steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs.”


This is a problem because some cops really love doing steroids. As a result, the police union is suing the city.



The stated reason for this lawsuit is that the new protocol revokes the 2011 standard without bargaining, which the union says is in violation of its rights. While the union claims that their lawsuit isn’t about challenging the prohibition on illegal steroid use, the fact that the only announced change was this limitation is certainly raising eyebrows.



To be clear, this new policy wouldn’t stop cops from taking steroids or other forms of human growth hormones, so long as they had a prescription, filled out some paperwork, and ran it by the NYPD district surgeon. As steroids can cause severe mood swings and violent behavior, it makes sense that the city would have a vested interest in making sure they know who is and isn’t on them.


That, though, appears to be too much for the police union, which claimed that such regulations would put “new burdens” onto officers. Sure, but you carry a gun and enforce the law — it feels only right that we as taxpayers should know if you’re injecting yourself with bull semen.



There’s no word yet on whether their lawsuit will fail or succeed. But hey, at least now you know why cops seem so pissed off all the time.