One of the few things that unites people on the internet is when they can come together and hate that week’s main character, and this latest example is a doozy. Cody, a man who recently got married, shocked the internet with his abysmal wedding vows in which he said little more than “I promise to smack that ass every chance I get.” Yes, really.


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In the video, we can see Cody and his bride, Kaitlin, standing at the altar. Cody opens his vows with the ass-smacking line, to which the officiant asks, “Is that it?” and “Are you sure?” after Cody assures him that is indeed all he has prepared to say to the supposed love of his life on their wedding day. Cody is laughing at his own antics throughout the video, while everybody else is looking on in complete silence, except for one guest who can be heard saying, “Come on Cody.”



TikTok users were quick to declare Cody public enemy number one, with one popular TikToker describing his vows (if they can even be called vows) “the worst vows in history.” To add insult to injury, more videos from the wedding were posted online that show Kaitlin’s heartfelt vows and a bizarre speech from Cody’s high school girlfriend at the reception that threw up a lot of red flags for many people, not least because this ex-girlfriend seemingly had more of a speech prepared than the literal groom.



Kaitlin’s vows were thoughtful and heartfelt, with her telling Cody, “From the moment we met in high school, we have had a special bond that was indescribable. Since then you have distracted me, captivated me and challenged me in a way no one ever has. I promise to always be true to you, to support you, to frustrate you and to challenge you. To hold you accountable and to share with you the most beautiful moments of my life.”


Cody’s response, shown in another video, was to try and put her ring on the wrong hand and then promise to “frustrate you all the time” and “not listen to you.” Wonderful.



People were sympathetic to the bride, although many wondered why she didn’t stop the wedding and walk out. Along those lines, one commenter wrote, “My parents would have escorted me back down the aisle and straight home.” Several others assured her that being single would definitely be better than settling for someone like Cody.



In other words, the internet has spoken, and it doesn’t think this marriage will last (many commenters were sharing sentiments like, “I give it two weeks”). Whatever happens, I hope Kaitlin ends up with someone who deserves her beautiful vows, and that Cody realizes there’s more to marriage than smacking that ass every chance he gets.