It’s a frigid Sunday night in late December. You’re a car insurance agent. Against your better judgment, you decided to take a weekend night shift.


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The economy is tough, but you, as the good father that you are, want nothing more than to see your children’s eyes light up as they unwrap a Nintendo Switch, a new Lego set and of course, their commemorative Skibidi Toilet action figures come Christmas morning.



Just as you’re about to sign off for the evening, heading back to your humble abode and curl in with a seasonal flick and a cup of hot cocoa, your work phone rings. It’s a client based in Wilmington, Delaware.


At first, the voice on the other end is frantic. “I hit someone!” they say, their words slightly slurred as they plead into the line. “I hit Joe Biden’s presidential motorcade!”



“I’m sorry you hit who?” you reply, still processing what you just heard.


“I hit Joe Biden’s Presidential Motorcade!” they repeat, each word making your blood grow colder and colder. The world around you begins spinning — and not just from your corporate-issued spinny chair.


“Oh God,” you think to yourself, your entire career — all those weeks, months and years of answering phones and dealing with panicked drivers — flashing before your eyes. “My career is over!”


Despite this initial (and very well-warranted) panic, the end is not necessarily nigh for the unlucky insurance agent — or company, for that matter — stuck defending this somehow even unluckier driver.



In the hours after a 46-year-old allegedly drove drunk into the presidential motorcade near Joe Biden’s Diamond State campaign headquarters, several posters took aim not at the motorist, but the insurer receiving that fateful phone call.


“Imagine calling your insurance company to let them know that you hit the president’s motorcade,” joked @osmelvergara.



“The best way to be dropped by your insurance company?” asked

@coffeeNkona, “Hit the President's motorcade.”


But despite these humorous reactions and several others, the reality is a bit different. Other than putting a top agent on the case, neither the President nor any member of his motorcade would be granted special privileges while navigating the claim, according to an insurance manager at AAA Northeast.


“I believe it’s a safe assumption that though this is a minor property damage claim, the carrier most likely has a higher-level claims associate working it to ensure it’s done right!” he told eBaum’s World via email.


So take it from this unpanicked insurer — “Hail to the Chief” does not apply in the world of automotive claims.