New Life Hack: If a Porch Pirate Steals Your Expensive Amazon Package, Guilt Them With Gift Note

The rise of Amazon has spawned a new kind of criminal: the porch pirate.

Of course, thieves stealing packages is nothing new. However, with more and more people ordering expensive items directly to their doors — and leaving them on their doorsteps for hours at a time — nabbing those pricey packages has become a lucrative business for those who are dumb enough to ignore your Ring camera.

Frequent Amazon orderers have tried everything to stop this, including installing security devices, asking Amazon drivers to hide packages, and, if they’re particularly unhinged, showing up to a suspected thief’s place of work and demanding they hand over the goods.

Now, one customer has a new method to stop porch theft: guilt.

X/Twitter user Eli’s psychological approach to preventing porch piracy involves including a note in the box that will make the thief feel guilty about what they’ve done.

Yes, the actual efficacy of this method is up for debate. First, people who steal packages may not give a s—t about your kid’s dead hamster. Second, they might get suspicious when you leave a note saying “RIP Grandma,” then discover that the box is full of a refill of Bounty paper towels. Still, it’s a valiant effort.

So if you want thieves to stop snatching your deliveries, consider adding a heartfelt note. Alternatively, just order things no thieves would want — after a few stolen adult diaper deliveries, they’ll know to leave your house alone.