Most people accept that if you visit the beach, you will have to pay tribute to the fearless beasts that call that beach home: seagulls. These tributes usually take the form of a fry or several fries, and while being swarmed by seagulls isn’t the nicest experience, they’re ultimately pretty harmless.
But one South Jersey man apparently missed this memo entirely and is now facing charges of animal cruelty after decapitating a seagull at Morey’s Piers & Beachfront Water Parks in Wildwood, New Jersey.
According to court documents, on July 6th, the man admitted to killing the seagull after it tried to take French fries from his daughter. He then went on to ask Morey’s Piers staff for a trash bag while still holding the dead seagull. It isn’t clear how exactly he decapitated the bird or what he was carrying that allowed him to do it so quickly.
We also don’t know what exactly was wrong with him that he thought decapitation of a living creature was an appropriate response to something beachgoers experience every single day, but according to reports, he became irate and uncooperative with officers conducting an unrelated investigation, which led to his arrest in this case. He has since been charged with third-degree animal cruelty and has been released pending a future court date.
If your response to something so mundane is to start murdering animals around you, please confine yourself to your home until you get your anger issues resolved. Seagulls may be annoying and mildly addicted to fried foods, but hey, so are a lot of the rest of us, and we don’t deserve to be decapitated because of it either.
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