Florida, as you might know, has swans. They also have alligators, swamp snakes and some of the craziest people this country has to offer, but what we’re focusing on today is the humble swan — a beautiful, crisp-white bird that can bring a moment of quiet reflection to any park-goer who happens upon them.
Taking care of these magnificent birds, however, is anything but peaceful. That’s because swans aren’t native to Florida; in fact, some of them found their way to the state thanks to Queen Elizabeth II. Back in the day, someone living in Lakeland, Florida wrote to Queen Elizabeth II asking if she could send some swans over — remember, this was before both PC *and* console gaming, so people didn’t really know what to do with their free time.
Surprisingly, the Queen both read the letter and obliged, mailing off two mute swans to the small town. While the town initially lost the swans after just a few days, they managed to find them and encourage them to breed.
And breed they did. Today, there are around 50 swans living in Lakeland, and every year, a select group of people are tasked with ensuring that a) the swans are healthy, and b) no local Floridian has tried to turn any of them into Swan Gumbo. We call these brave men and women the “swan wranglers.”
The mission of the swan wranglers is twofold: First, catch the darn things. This is a job that requires a big net, a lot of patience, and I would guess, a few beers. Two people go out on boats patrolling the waters in search of swans. Once they find one, wham — it goes into the net and gets prepped for the next stage of the swan-wrangling process.
The second part of this whole journey is more practical. Vets analyze each bird individually by “giving each of them a physical exam, weighing them, checking for any infections, any wounds, any problems that would need to be addressed,” according to veterinarian Price Dickson.
And just in case you thought I was kidding about Swan Gumbo, one of the reasons that Queen Elizabeth II was able to send the swans to Lakeland in the first place is that she, when she was still alive, technically owned all the swans in the country — for food.
“Since the 12th century, according to the official Royal Family website, the Crown has reserved the right to claim possession of all unmarked mute swans swimming in open waters across the country,” reads an article on the subject. “Historically, this law was established because swans were consumed as an exceptional meal at banquets and feasts.” This was solely an act of decadence, as swan doesn’t actually taste too great.
Still, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to try some Swan Nuggets. If any of those swan wranglers have any that you need “taken care of,” you know who to call.
Comments