After years of facing public scrutiny for his laissez-faire approach to our personal data and general embodiment of the tech world’s douchiest brand of dudebro, Meta CEO and Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg has proven he’s more than just a Very Normal Human Man™ with a penchant for killing his own meat, wearing the same outfit every day and adorning his home with decorative bottles of Sweet Baby Ray’s hot sauce.


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He’s also somewhat okay at jiu-jitsu.


On Saturday, May 6, Zuckerberg took to social media with an important life update for all 17 boomer moms and anti-vaxxers that still use Facebook: He, too, has hobbies … well, beyond sparking anti-trust lawsuits and serving as the Winklevoss twins’ arch-nemesis.



“Competed in my first jiu-jitsu tournament and won some medals for the Guerrilla Jiu Jitsu team,” Zuckerberg wrote in a post shared to his more than 119,000,000 followers, tacking on a handful of sporty snaps for the platform’s resident “pics or it didn’t happen” skeptics.


As Zuckerberg’s snaps and other videos of the entrepreneur’s matches began making the rounds on Twitter, they, like most everything the non-Lil Pump Harvard drop-out put his hands on, quickly turned into shitposting fodder.


“The creator of Facebook can kick your ass. Let that be a moment of reality,” wrote Twitter user @bionuce alongside one of the videos.


Meanwhile, others speculated the validity of the tech icon’s win because let’s face it, kicking a billionaire’s ass – even when welcomed – may not be physically daunting but is sure as hell financially daunting.


“The other guy did NOT want to be shadowbanned for life,” joked @FIGHTINSIGHTPOD before commending Zuckerberg’s “overall good skills.”


Moral of the story? Always let the billionaires win when it comes to contact sports – your life savings depends on it, probably.