The revolution will not be televised. It will also not start with a dude on a jet ski.


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For context, Cuba. Maybe you’ve heard about it. If you have, you probably know that some people really, really don’t like the nation’s government and will do anything in their power to see it overthrown or destroyed completely.


In the early days, the U.S. government was among those people hoping, and trying, to see Cuba’s government come to an end. In addition to the several actual attempts to overthrow Cuba’s government, there were also several Looney Tunes-esque plots to kill Fidel Castro that never made it out of the CIA blacksite board room. Some examples include an exploding cigar, a colorfully painted seashell that would blow up if Castro got near it and sending a woman to kill him (she actually ended up banging him — nice!).



The days of government-funded Cuban assassination attempts are (probably) behind us. However, that hasn’t stopped some Cuban-Americans from trying to foment a revolution in the country — and much like their U.S. government counterparts in years past, they’re really, really bad at it.




According to Reuters citing Cuban state sources, a Floridian and Cuban-American decided that he was going to be the one to finally push Cuba’s government out of power. To do this, he gathered several handguns, a bunch of ammo, and of course, his trusty jet ski.


When he arrived on the island (via jet ski, of course), he ditched his vehicle and immediately began “to recruit others to assist in committing acts of violence, arson and vandalism.”



Cuban authorities quickly figured out that something was amiss and arrested the man. Naturally, they’re accusing him of being associated with some American criminal organizations, but as of right now, we really don’t know what’s true and what isn’t.


Lesson learned: If you’re going to start a revolution, make sure to plan a little bit better. Also, spring for a bigger boat.