One man may have nutted a little too close to the sun, stars and outlying planets, allegedly convinced that his nocturnal emissions may have been stolen by a group of aliens looking to merge their species with the human race.


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It all began a little over a decade ago, when Julian Jacobs Shields said he began noticing orbs floating around his Kansas City, Missouri home, as he explained to Soft White Underbelly. This form, however, quickly changed, as the aliens, ones he described as small, gray creatures with three tentacles, clocking in roughly four feet tall, began tapping on his window, a gesture that left him taken aback.



“That was the first time I'd ever seen something that wasn’t human," he recalled, adding that he “froze” at the shocking sight. “I didn't make a move.”


This contact quickly evolved into dreams, ones that included gladiator-style battles and of course, a whole lot of sexual themes.


“It got more sexual because there was a full week straight where I was having wet dreams every night," he recalled, elaborating that he was getting it on with “with different creatures, women and just different stuff.”


But when it came time to do the laundry load of shame, Shields was surprised by the lack of actual nut stuck to his sheets.


“I would wake up, and I would look at my pants and sometimes there'd be nothing and sometimes it would just be wet,” he remembered, noting that there was “no actual sperm in there."


While at the time, Shields chalked up those wet dreams to being just that, he said he still feared finding himself at the center of a not-so-tall gray paternity scandal several years down the line.


“Give it maybe another 10 years or so and then I'm curious to see what happens," he said. "Because if it is real and I do have extraterrestrial children, and they used my sperm to recreate life and do whatever. I would really hope those individuals wouldn't be brainwashed enough to be able to come back and try to figure out where it all started.”


But hey, to paraphrase the old adage, one man’s wet dreams are another galaxy’s hybrid-human spawn.