Remember when people were hired for acting jobs because they could, you know, act? While this was the norm for ages, production studios soon realized they could sell more tickets by just hiring hotter people — or, if they weren’t hot enough already, pumping our “normal” actors so full of chemicals that their T-shirts explode with a simple bicep flex. Heck, it got so bad that we ran out of normal-looking people and had to start importing British actors doing American accents for our movies!

Sorry, Benedict Cumberbatch, but I just don’t believe you’re from Oklahoma!

Eventually, studios realized that people will just accept whatever slop you put in their trough, and so, they pivoted to hiring people who just can’t act at all. Jeff Bezos apparently saw this and thought, “Hey, if Gal Gadot can do it, so can my wife!”

That’s the rumor floating around Hollywood right now: According to OK! Magazine, Bezos has become “obsessed” with the idea of his wife being a big-time actor — specifically, one featured in a new James Bond film.

Of course, Lauren Sánchez isn’t an actor, but that doesn’t seem to be stopping Bezos. In 2022, Bezos acquired MGM, gaining the studio’s extensive film and television catalog — including major franchises like James Bond. This, insiders believe, will give him input on how the studio runs things and, potentially, who they cast.

“She’s Jeff’s muse, and when you spend $8 billion, you get what you want,” an alleged insider stated.

Definitely not sinister at all!