In the Debate of Bazongas Vs No Bazongas, the Only Winners Are Lesbians

Men on the internet are continuing their streak of being Incredibly Normal about Sydney Sweeney, specifically her breasts, inadvertently answering the question of just how long men can spend talking about women’s boobs: the limit does not exist.

For months now, some right-wing commentators have been tying themselves in knots to try and turn Sweeney’s breasts into a symbol representing the last hope of Western civilization, because decent breasts make some men lose their minds, I guess.

Take conservative commentator Richard Hanania, whose response to Sweeney’s appearance on Saturday Night Live was to tweet, “Wokeness is dead.” Wokeness is dead, and Sydney Sweeney’s boobs killed it, apparently.

Since I’ve never suffered brain damage, it’s difficult for me to parse the argument that Sydney Sweeney’s mere existence as a large-chested blonde woman has destroyed wokeness, but I think it’s something along the lines of her continued employment is a sign that someone, somewhere is pushing back against initiatives designed to increase diversity in film and television, and take America back to its roots: a country with a fondness for blonde women with big breasts (see: Hooters).

Which brings us back to @sexyRFK’s tweet comparing Sydney Sweeney’s “Nietzschean pro-sex, pro-beauty large breast[s]” with Stranger Things actress Sadie Sink’s “aristocratic elegance” thanks to her smaller chest. It’s nonsense. The entire thing is nonsense. The continued attempts to turn Sweeney’s breasts into a symbol are nonsense. Pitting women against each other over breast size, something largely out of their control, is nonsense.

Frankly, it’s odd — surely any red-blooded heterosexual male would appreciate breasts regardless of their size? Surely their size would be secondary to the fact that a woman is comfortable enough with you to show you them. At least, that’s how queer women, who know a thing or two about appreciating breasts in all their forms, see it.

Or you could just be like this guy, who prefers his wife. Kudos, man.