Finding the perfect festive sweater for the holidays can be difficult — do you go classic, or pun-y? How about one featuring Rudolph complete with red nose? Or how about you forget those entirely and go with this delightful offering from Shein.


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The sweater, available in seven colors, bears the words “I lick, swallow and suck” in capital letters. That’s incredibly straightforward. But no, there’s more text on the sweater that’s in cursive font and slightly harder to read. It says, “I lick the salt, swallow the tequila and suck the lime.” For your relatives with vision problems at Christmas lunch, however, you may as well be wearing a sweater that says, “I’m a slut.”


If it’s not cold enough where you live to don a sweater during the holiday season, don’t worry! There’s a T-shirt alternative as well, because Shein thinks of everything. Thanks Shein!



The joke is one that can be found decorating the walls of countless suburban homes across the United States alongside LIVE LAUGH LOVE wireframe art and “It’s wine o’clock!” throw pillows, and the sweater was almost certainly made by an exploited worker and probably contains lead, but sometimes fashion demands suffering, whether it’s yours or a faceless child in a factory in China.



By all means, if your goal this Christmas is to traumatize an elderly aunt while rewarding Shein’s low-effort, low-quality output and advertising your concerning relationship with alcohol, buy this sweater today! For the more sustainably-minded consumers out there, consider reusing one from a previous year, or head to Goodwill and pick up someone else’s for less than you’d spend at Shein without enabling their aggressively exploitative business model.