‘I Feel It Counts As Reading a Book’: Dudes Are Ditching Porn to Jack Off From Memory to Make Themselves ‘Smarter’

A tweet from a stand-up comedian recently inspired a somewhat thoughtful discussion on the impact of porn on people’s brains.

Comedian and podcaster Tommy Bayer tweeted, “been jacking off by memory recently and I think it’s been making me smarter. I feel like it counts as reading a book or solving a puzzle.” And while it’s obviously a joke, there could be something to it — you’re using your imagination or at least your memory rather than relying on external stimuli, so surely it counts as a workout for your brain, no?

At least one person thinks so, replying to Bayer’s tweet with, “I actually genuinely think this is real, I think porn took away the ability to do prolonged sustained visualization during masturbation sessions and that is why no one is getting into relationships anymore or finding their ideal partners. the deep focused imagination is gone.” They later compared it to a reliance on smartphones leading to nobody memorizing phone numbers anymore.

Others built on the gag, with one person responding that they jack off to rotating cubes in their mind but like, “sexy cubes.” Someone else said they solve a Rubik’s Cube in their mind every time.

Some complained that the tweet had echoes of NoFap, a movement dedicated to helping men (primarily) quit consuming pornography and recover from porn addiction, a condition not currently recognized by any official bodies but one that an increasing number of men online believe they have.

Bayer’s approach wouldn’t pass muster with most NoFappers, however. According to their website, most people try to abstain not just from consuming pornography but also masturbating and having an orgasm as well, although there is a “Porn-Free Mode” that only involves abstaining from watching porn.

There’s no word on how long you need to avoid watching porn before you can solve Rubik’s Cubes in your mind, though. Hopefully Bayer can keep us posted!