On today’s installment of mediocre men having the audacity, comic Maria DeCotis singlehandedly proved that there is something worse than spending Valentine’s Day alone — fending off horny strangers on the internet.
On Tuesday, February 14, Maria DeCotis emerged as the hero the women of social media both need *and* deserve, putting a DMs dweller by the username of @magakyle626 who sent her an unsolicited dick pic — and a series of wholly deranged, unrequited messages — on blast, sharing the censored (thank god) screenshots with her more than 57,000 Twitter followers.
“In case anyone is wondering what being a female comedian is like,” DeCotis captioned the screenshots, which have since garnered more than 7.9 million views on Twitter. “Happy Valentine’s Day ladies!”
Alongside the offending picture, one which boldly asks the question of “what if Rose from Titanic was played by a dollar store Martin Garrix impersonator with a (probably) tiny dick,” the following DMs paint a grim picture of the inner workings of men who read The Game … and want everyone to know they read The Game.
“Suck my dick your [sic] not even funny. Well your not hot either but I’d still let you blow me,” he wrote alongside the horrendous snap, desperately clinging to the assumption that any woman in their right mind would ever voluntarily venture within 10 feet of him.
Over the course of the next several screenshots @magakyle626 proceeded to attempt to pick up DeCotis by hurling insults into his series of left-on-seen messages, a display so humiliating, some users wondered if this was like the weirdest shit on the internet — a bizarre kink display.
“This guy does this to pretty much every woman with followers that he can find on social media,” wrote user @darthlux. “He has a humiliation kink and gets off on his pics being shared, you’re giving him exactly what he wants by posting this. he’s been messaging me on various accounts for YEARS.”
Unsolicited dick pics: Not even once.
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