The whales! They’re gay!


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For ages, scientists have wondered who will be the lucky person to catch humpback whale sex on camera for the first time. Don’t look at me, they’re the ones who want this.


Well, recently, it was actually done. According to a report published in Marine Mammal Science last week, two humpback whales were photographed copulating by researchers off the coast of Hawaii, something the New York Post notes was “never before captured on camera.”


Also, the whales were gay.



The photos show two whales having what scientists insist is sex. It’s hard to tell exactly what’s going on, or even if either party is enjoying it — but if you wanted to see whale sex, now you have. Good for you.


Unfortunately, the story gets a little darker from here. According to researchers, this copulation happened after a healthy male approached a second, injured male — meaning we may not be seeing gay whale love, but queer whale sexual assault. Nature is really something, isn’t it?


“Here, we have the first documentation of a humpback whale male sexually penetrating another humpback whale, but also the case of an animal that is injured and unhealthy being penetrated by what appears to be a healthy and strong whale,” the report authors wrote, quoted by the New York Post.



There are, of course, other explanations. In short, we don’t know the sex lives of whales, or even if this is “not cool” by whale standards. Maybe whales are “free love no matter the circumstances,” or just super into free use. Maybe the healthy whale was being an aquatic sexual predator. Again, we just don’t know, something the study authors readily admit.


“The stronger humpback may have mistakenly tried to mate with the ailing one, it could have been reinforcing a social relationship with an injured conspecific or it could have been expressing dominance over the weaker competitor,” summarizes the Post, citing the authors.



Given that we haven’t seen this before, it’s likely that the photo of humpback whale sex is the only one we’re going to have for a long time — so if this is what you’re into, savor it while you can.