After decades upon decades of women in the entertainment industry fielding constant criticism at nearly any perceived sign of aging — a notion that has hindered several actress’ careers and made literal supermodel, 37-year-old Irina Shayk, reiterate that she feels “so lucky to be working” it seems some of Hollywood's most notorious men have finally gotten theirs thanks to a new term called “twink death.”


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First emerging in light of 48-year-old fart enjoyer Leonardo DiCaprio’s recent outing with 19-year-old model Eden Polani  — who was notably -7 years old at the time of Titanic’s 1997 release — the concept of twink death is simple: No matter how hot you are, being an absolute dick does *not* do any favors when it comes to aging.



Alongside citing DiCaprio and fellow a**holes like Seth Rogen-alienator James Franco, and soon-to-be negative billionaire Alex Jones as prime examples of twink death, Twitter proved this concept transcends not only the labels of sexuality — as @jestom so aptly put it, “I feel like people are forgetting that a main quality of a twink is being gay” — but also, political alignments.  



Yep, several divisive world leaders like Joseph Stalin, Chairman Mao and Joe Biden also emerged as declining twinks on the social platform  … though let’s be real, we would be willing to reassess that last one if he like, idk, forgave student debt or codified Roe v. Wade (we here at eBaum’s World *do* love the sweet, sweet taste of abortion pills in the morning).





Yet not all twinks are like Lana Del Rey in 2012 (“Born to Die”). As several Twitter stans pointed out, Twinks can survive — and thrive — well into their sunset years so long as you have a great skincare routine and most importantly, a propensity to not be a raging douchebag, just ask John Krasinski, Pedro Pascal, the still hot Brendan Fraser,  Girl’s icon Allison Williams (women twink equality now!) our longtime celebrity crush, Dev Patel, and notable good guy, Keanu Reeves.






Twink death: It’s not that existential … or maybe it is?