Hitting your macros ain’t easy. Given that there’s sugar in basically everything these days — and that most people at the gym insist you need to eat about 3,000 grams of protein daily if you want to put on muscle — it’s no surprise that those in search of gains feel the need to meticulously log every snack and sip.


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This makes sense for food. Where it might not make sense is for drugs.



That’s right — while you’re over here worrying about whether you need to log Coke Zero, this guy is concerned about just how much his heroin habit is going to screw up his diet plan. “how many calories are in some H shot directly into your veins?” asks user Weeaboo209090 in a post to r/Drugs. “Trying to watch my health and just wondering what the macros are looking like. Would there be less calories in snorting it maybe?”


The word “heroin” and the phrase “trying to watch my health” don’t often go together, and that’s for a good reason. If you’re not aware, heroin is bad and can kill you if you do too much of it.


For those who are genuinely curious, a user on another thread claimed that, while heroin may mess up your body, life, and relationships, its actual direct effect on your calorie count is pretty minimal. “Unless you’re literally eating the heroin (which you really shouldn’t), it’s impossible for it to have any calories. Our digestive system is the only way our body can take in nutrients,” writes user maybri. “If you are eating the heroin, the calorie content depends on what it’s cut with. Pure heroin will not contain any calories, but if it’s cut with sugar, there would be some.”


But if OP is really concerned about his figure, another user has some sage advice: “If you’re worried about less calories, try meth it’ll thin you up.” And that’s not even mentioning all the added exercise you’ll get from ripping out the copper wiring from your house!