As news of the Montgomery Melee continues to dominate social media, several fighters are already training to properly wield a folding chair for round two.
Film and TV reviewer @mrrogersreview headed to TikTok on Monday with an instructional video on “ChairJutsu,” a “deadly” martial art that has been “passed down from hood master to hood master.”
“After witnessing my brothers and sisters take arm in the battle of Montgomery, I knew that I had to be prepared myself,” he captioned his viral video, noting that he hadn’t practiced chair swinging chops in “years.”
“Last time I used it, I sent four people to the hospital with concussions, their brains turned to jelly,” he joked. “It’s a powerful skill, when thrown, the chair can cause riots and get the most sane person into a frenzy. But it’s necessary and I will be ready.”
Amassing upwards of 2.1 million views in its first day on the site, several creators were evidently inspired by his dedication to his chair craft, avowing that they, too, would be prepared for the next Montgomery Riverfront brawl.
“This is the Way,” commented @curb_ur_criticism alongside a fist emoji.
“Will you be offering lessons? Would love to sign up” asked @eritreankidmit.
“Sensei Rodgers, I will NOT fail you!” promised @indiasaraii, adding in a training montage of her own.
But it’s not just grown-ups that are getting in on the “ChairJutsu” fun.
“Got to teach the young,” family TikToker @evadaniel12 captioned a clip of her teaching several children how to fend off a rude boater with the backyard staple. “If you see this then your kids are late, training started at 9 am.”
Though we may have missed @evadaniel12’s first round of training, she isn’t the only sensei instructing the youth on this budding martial art form. TikToker @im.shell.bell had a similar idea, hosting another chair self-defense course for her child.
“Training my son just in case,” she wrote atop her son skillfully swinging a blue chair, slamming it into the ground in preparation for violent pontoon riders.
So, rowdy boaters, take this as your warning — make one wrong move and you’ll be facing an army of trained “ChairJutsu” fighters.
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