Dunkin Donuts is the lifeblood of America, and for those with cold brew in their veins, this isn't the first time they've endured insults from the brand. From their 2009 salmonella outbreak, the racist ad from Thailand, and of course their totally insane drop of “Donuts,” from their name, leaving it as “Dunkin’. But the most recent switch in rewards programs from “DDPerks” to “Dunkin’ Rewards” has loyalists finally saying “I no longer run on Dunkin’.”


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Here’s a classic speedy Dunkin’ rundown of the situation. It used to be, customers could log in to their Dunkin app, get a coffee, and earn five points per dollar spent. At 200 points, they’d earn a free drink once a week or so. Now, with the new, apparently evil, Dunkin Rewards, a dollar is worth ten points, but free drinks are worth up to 500 points. The new, caffeinated reality the Dunkin stans face is earning a free drink after spending a whopping ninety or so dollars. To top it off free drinks on birthdays are now no longer a thing as well.



If hateful, vocal people on the internet need anything, it’s caffeine and cheap deals. Dunkin’ foolishly messed with that, and they’re getting ripped a new donut hole as a result. People are reportedly turning to the dark roast side of the coffee world, Starbucks, or making use of their machines at home. The main point here is Dunkin’ messed with their most ardent defenders, morning regulars, and took a coffee-induced crap on their long-term investments.

https://twitter.com/matthunzi/status/1579530345275609089


The Dunkin’ subreddit looks like a debate room of scholars planning for a fury-driven revolution against their pastry overlords. One post reads “Enough serious reports could start the motion of better treatment of everyday loyal customers!”. Another inspiring revolutionary wrote “We can NOT get distracted in this mission to get our fair share of rewards back. Stay strong ✊” Truly, no war, election, or even pandemic could inspire the level of thoughtful insight offered by these brew-heads. It’s pure rage, beautifully articulated,


In terms of saving face with PR, some are suggesting they bring back Al Pacino. Some might enjoy a trip back to Shamokin, PA, and check in with their most famous devotees. The most common solution put forth is, simply fix it.