Work life got you down? Co-workers getting on your last nerve? Bosses upon bosses nagging you about some B.S. project that wasn’t supposed to be your job in the first place?
Do not worry, my sweet child. Enter the warm, tranquil waters of the hot tub — and tell your boss you shit your pants.
Accompanied by that one Barbie song by Billie Eilish, this viral video shows a man in a hot tub offering some timeless advice. If you want to get out of work, the solution is simple: Inform your boss that you’ve dropped a deuce in your trousers.
Does shitting yourself prevent you from doing work? Not really — a shower and a change of clothes and you’re more than likely ready to continue your terrible job. But actually telling your boss that you shit yourself is another move entirely. It’s a display of power and unhinged honesty, something that is sure to make your boss panic and let you off for the day.
According to the TikToker, the tip actually works. “I do it twice a year,” the hot tub man says. “Whenever it’s really nice out, I’ll do it.”
Commenters on TikTok agreed. “My dad told me to always say it[‘s] a toliet issue. Nobody ever wants to check,” wrote one. “I say I have ‘severe stomach issues,’ and they get it,” added another. “Literally used this excuse this morning. Can confirm. It works,” stated a third.
Naturally, there were some in the comments — ER nurses, especially — who said that their job would not accept this excuse. Some even claimed to have tried it, only for their employer to hand them a new pair of pants and tell them to get cleaned up (c’mon, you know the answer here — keep shitting until they run out of pants!).
Even if it might not work, there’s no harm in trying. Call your boss over right now and tell him you’ve laid a brick in your Dickies — from there, the hot tub awaits.
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