Cooking isn’t for everyone; it can be incredibly hard for some people, while for others it can be far more… flaccid. Wait, what?
One Redditor took to the website in despair, sharing two photos of their failed attempt at baking a cake with the caption, “Why does the cake I cooked turn out like this?” It turns out that “like this” means “looking alarmingly like a flaccid penis or perhaps Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street.” I’m hardly the world’s best baker and even I’m struggling to understand how they managed this.
Commenters were predictably helpful. One asked, “Do you substitute baking powder with Viagra?” while someone else suggested that the problem was “too much nut butter.” Others blamed OP’s natural allure, with a commenter writing, “If you’re gonna bake naked, you’re gonna have to live with the consequences. Poor thing can’t help who it finds attractive.” Others pointed out that since the cake isn’t erect, it actually might not be that into OP and they should back off.
Fortunately, amongst all the dick jokes was some actual advice. One person explained that the problem was the result of “the outside cooking faster than the inside. As the inside begins to cook, it expands, but there’s not enough space inside so it goes out. Baker probably filled it to the brim as well when only half would have sufficed.” Then, because this is Reddit, they finished their comment with, “Penis muffin.” Beautiful.
Another helpful soul recommended that OP not “use a ceramic baking dish, use glass or metal. Those fluted sides are designed for souflé, not chocolate or vanilla grain based batters.”
On the other hand, OP could consider turning this into a successful cake business specializing in bachelorette parties. That said, they might need to work on getting their cake-penises to look less floppy and sad first.
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