A Mississauga, Ontario man found himself becoming Villain of the Week after bizarre voice notes he sent a woman he didn’t know were posted online.


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Kelsey King, who goes by @quelsee on Twitter, took to the platform to share a series of messages she received from a Ryan Andrews earlier this month. They were strangers, but that didn’t stop Andrews from opening his messages to King with an overly familiar “Kelsayyyyyyy!!!!” before adding that “mayhaps that was a tad overly enthusiastic for a stranger danger message on a sunny Friday morning,” and offering to explain his exuberance, promising that his explanation would bring “laughs and smiles.” King invited him to explain away, and what follows are roughly nine minutes of the most unbearably cringeworthy voice memos you’ll ever hear in your life.



Waffling for a full minute before actually getting to the point, Andrews explains that he saw King’s profile on Bumble and decided, based on her bio, that she was “the same type of weird” as him, suggesting that she seemed so suited to him that he wondered if his mom had paid her to write everything in her bio. It feels important to note that the pair did not match on Bumble, and even if they had, Bumble requires women to make the first move; by finding and messaging King on social media, Andrews circumvented one of Bumble’s core rules and massively violated King’s boundaries.



His messages are littered with Nice Guy-style quips (e.g., “For how pretty she is, she should seem boring”), and outdated slang (e.g., “redonkulous”) that give the impression that Andrews heard about Manic Pixie Dream Girls and felt disappointed by the lack of male counterparts.


The messages to King are only half the story, however. After her tweet went viral, King found herself being contacted by multiple women from the Greater Toronto Area who had dealt with the same thing from Andrews — him finding them on social media and immediately launching into overly-familiar messages in an embarrassing attempt at courtship. The oldest example was from 2016, meaning that he’s been at this for at least seven years — his commitment to an obviously unsuccessful strategy is difficult to understand, but maybe he thinks his odds will improve over time?




Since posting the initial update on June 18th, King has continued updating the thread with stories from women across Canada about Andrews, including at least one allegation of physical assault. There are countless similarities between all of the messages he sends women — using the same jokes, pop-culture references, and attempted flexes over and over again in a desperate attempt to find someone willing to date him.


Thanks to King, though, the chances of that happening are somehow even worse than before.