Remember last year when there were rumors going around that a chess champion had been using anal beads to cheat? Well, I’m delighted to share that it’s happened again — only this time, the details are much… I don’t want to say “juicier” in this context, so I’m going to go with “more interesting.”


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Over in China, they’ve got a game called Xiangqi, which us Americans have taken to just calling “Chinese chess.” Last week, a 48-year-old man named Yan Chenglong beat dozens of other players in order to be dubbed the country’s “Xiangqi King.”



Yan proceeded to celebrate this win by shitting in his bathtub.


“Yan consumed alcohol with others in his room on the night of the 17th, and then he defecated in the bathtub of the room he was staying in on the 18th,” reads a statement from Chinese Xiangqi Association (CXA), relayed by EuroNews. This act, the association says, “damaged hotel property, violated public order and good morals, had a negative impact on the competition and the event of Xiangqi, and was of extremely bad character.”


But what would cause a man to poop in a bathtub? Sure, he had been drinking, but plenty of people get hammered every day and *don’t* leave logs in their showers — what gives?



According to Chinese social media users, Yan’s butt may have simply relieved itself after being under intense pressure. “Yan allegedly clenched and unclenched rhythmically to communicate information about the chess board via code to a computer, which then sent back instructions on what moves to make in the form of vibrations,” says EuroNews.


These rumors soon became so persistent that the CXA felt the need to respond saying that it had no evidence that this was true. “Based on our understanding of the situation, it is currently impossible to prove that Yan engaged in cheating via ‘anal beads’ as speculated on social media,” the CXA wrote in a statement. Yes, they really name-checked anal beads.


If this sort of thing keeps up, you’re going to need a cavity search to play just about any game competitively — so get ready to spread ‘em at your next Magic: The Gathering tournament.