Australia's fake American ass-wipe Nick Adams is back at it, throwing tantrums over which restaurants and fast food joints he thinks his followers should be enjoying. The self-proclaimed "alpha male" was frustrated a few months ago when he claimed that inflation made it hard for like-minded dudes to go to Hooters every day.


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Now he's upset over Pizza Hut allegedly "going woke," and vows to eat at alpha male establishment KFC instead. Why he chose KFC as the replacement for a pizza joint is beyond me, but one cannot try and understand the reasoning behind his cerebral functions. 



Perhaps Nick's love for KFC comes from this picture of his idol Donald Trump enjoying some Kentucky fried, but unfortunately for both of them, KFC and Pizza Hut are owned by the same company: Yum! Brands. They also own Taco Bell. 




KFC also seems quite happy to stand for what Nick would likely categorize as "woke" ideals, including speaking out against anti-trans discrimination and supporting Black Lives Matter. 



He might have difficulty washing down his KFC too, seeing as drinking a fast food soda is difficult without a straw. Especially if he gets his meal to go. 





Maybe he hates straws so much that he never drinks anything, and by extension, never has to pee. That's the only way he could ever think sitting to pee is inferior.