We’ve all been there. You’re somewhere where you absolutely do not want to poop, and yet, your bowels tell you that it’s time to go. What do you do?
You could be like that British girl who got stuck in a window after trying to throw her poop into her date’s backyard (yes, that actually happened). Or, if getting trapped in between two sheets of glass isn’t in your date-night plans, you could follow the advice of TikToker Siena (@ssiiena).
In a video with more than 5.6 million views, Siena demonstrates three methods for going number two while you’re hanging out with your crush.
The first is the “body shower,” because we all know how much women love taking body showers. For this, Siena explains, you tell your beau that you’re going to take such a shower, then let the water run while you’re dropping the kids off at the pool. This offers you both a sound barrier and as much time as you need to get the job done, as no man will ever question you for taking forever in the shower.
The second method is similar, only this time, you’re going to be using the hair dryer. Say you need to fix your hair, crank up the hair dryer, and boom, you’re clear to poop.
Finally, if there’s no hair dryer in sight and he doesn’t have a shower (or he’s one of those psychos who doesn’t use a shower curtain and you don’t want to spray water everywhere), you have to prepare what Siena calls “the hammock.” To accomplish this, lay down a few sheets of toilet paper as a sort of landing pad for your turds, which gives you “minimal sound and splashback.”
In the comments section, users offered their own tips.
“Don’t forget the courtesy flush! If you flush immediately when going #2 the smell won’t linger, then wipe, flush again!” suggested one user.
“spray air freshener or a body spray into the toilet b4 using it & it’ll help mask the smell too,” advised another.
Then again, as a different user pointed out, you could always just tell them the truth. Because in the end, that might tell you everything. “I’d just say, ‘Hey, my stomach is upset, and I might be a minute I gotta use the bathroom if ya feel me,’” they reasoned. “If he judges you, then he’s not the one?”
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